


Memory of innocence

by Hannah_Girl



Series: Supernatural crossovers, fusions, etc. [1]
Category: Supernatural, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Amnesia, Attempted Sexual Assault, F/F, F/M, Homelessness, Leviathans, Massacre, Minor Character Death, Sexual Harassment, Slave Trade, Slavery, Violence, Wilderness Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22867000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_Girl/pseuds/Hannah_Girl
Summary: Takes place around the end of season seven of Supernatural, but this is AU for both Supernatural AND the Hobbit, so I will deviate from canon quite a bit.  After the Leviathans consumed him, Castiel awakens in Middle Earth without memories to discover he’s not the only angel there. He struggles to gain his footing in a world he doesn’t understand, without his powers and no memory of what he is. On the other side of the world, Fili and Kili’s innocence is shattered as their peaceful life comes to a violent end and they find themselves homeless refugees doomed to wander the face of Middle Earth, looking for a place that will accept them.
Relationships: Castiel/Hannah (Supernatural), Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s), Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Supernatural crossovers, fusions, etc. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922404
Kudos: 2
Collections: Fanfiction Writers United Adventure Collection, Fanfiction Writers United Crossover Collection, Fanfiction Writers United M/F Collection, Takeout Tacos





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Please note that tags may change as the story goes. Things evolve, things get darker, angstier, etc. If there are any trigger warnings that pop up, I will warn of the particular chapter and I will change the tags accordingly. So just keep that in mind, that I don’t necessarily know how dark things will get at this point as I tend to let my muse do the writing. Also, note that side pairings are often known to change in my stories too, so be aware of that as I will alter the tags for that too. Nothing is certain.

The large wooden vessel lulled about on the gentle waves. Castiel struggled in this vice grip of his captors as they hauled him below decks, not moments after the boat had left the shore. His mind still scrambled to make sense of what was happening to him, where he was. There was something nagging at the back of his memory, something he knew was important, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't make himself remember. 

"Castiel," he mumbled as they dragged him to the Captain's mess and deposited him in front of the Captain. A tall, lanky man who seemed less intimidating than the thick burley wire-haired man that had discovered him and who held him in the vice grip he was in now.

That was all he knew for sure — his name. "My name is Castiel," he said as he fell in a heap at the Captain's feet and strained his head up to look at the man. The smell of the sea and old wood permeated the room and posh maritime decor reminiscent of Earth's early pirate age filled the dilapidated looking room.

"Found him sleeping in the streets," the burly man explained. "Claims he don't remember much so I thought he'd make a good slave. No one will miss him."

"Castiel," the Captain repeated, thoughtfully scratching his chin as he looked down at his latest prize. "While yer on my ship, you'll be expected to follow the rules. This here is the quartermaster, you'll learn to obey him. Is that clear?"

Castiel blinked, shifting to sit upon his knees. "I'm not sure I want to be on your ship," he said wearily, still feeling disoriented. He didn't think these people had his best interests at heart, but he had no idea whether the place he was before had been any better. He didn't know where he belonged.

But his remark earned him a swift kick in the side, and he fell back to the floor with a grunt as pain welled up in his side as the quartermaster kicked again for good measure then grabbed him and yanked him harshly up to his feet.

"Well ye aren't going nowhere so you might as well accept it!" the quartermaster shouted. Once Castiel was standing shakingly on his feet, the Captain seemed to scrutinize his appearance. His beige trenchcoat and bright blue collar were out of place in this world, and he stood out. He didn't know why he was so oddly dressed when everyone else seemed adorned in tunics, trousers, and cloaks.

"Y-yes, sir," Castiel relented. He didn't think it would be a good idea to cause a fight, and it's not like he had anywhere to go anyway. Yet… there was still something in the deepest recesses of his memory that gnawed at him. Something that said he had done something terrible, he just didn't know what it was.

"Take him below decks with the other one," the Captain ordered. "We'll assign him as a deckhand for now."

With that, the quartermaster yanked the other man along with him, dragging him back through the ship. They passed other faces. Ragged looking men were busily going about cleaning or tending to the vessel. They shot curious glances at the newcomer as he passed. 

The quartermaster came to what looked like some sort of trap door in the flooring. Lifting it, he poked at Castiel with the hilt of his sword. "Get in there," he warned. "We'll come to get ye when we've got something for you."

Castiel did as he was told. He descended the steep ladder into what appeared to be a cargo hold. Barrels and crates of various sizes and shapes filled the space, creating a labyrinth of narrow floor space to maneuver around. The stench of mold and mildew, the dampness in the air, and the rodents scurrying about along the floor told Castiel that this wasn't the place to be. 

As he moved into the room, he was aware of some noise coming from somewhere in the far corner of the room. A few tiny portholes lining high on the walls allowed some sunlight to stream through and light the room, though shadows shrouded dark corners.

"Hello?" Castiel said, his voice ragged, perhaps from disuse, he wasn't sure. The shuffling stopped. Castiel navigated through the makeshift walls of crates and barrels until he turned a corner and stopped in his tracks.

What he thought was a pile of clothes began to move, rise, until they tumbled forward, revealing a huddled dark-haired form. A woman, hugging her knees close to her chest.

"Leave me alone," she warned softly. When she lifted her head, Castiel was met with a pair of deep cerulean eyes that widened in recognition. "... Castiel?"

Castiel cocked his head at hearing his name. He knelt in front of the woman; there was something about her. She seemed to glow, an aura seemed to envelop her, and what he thought was the outline of a pair of large white wings attached to her back, which upon closer look, appeared broken, The creamy white feathers were ruffled and bent.

"What are you?" he asked directly as she looked him over. "How do you know my name?"

"I'm what you are," the woman replied, eyes narrowing in suspicion as she visibly tensed when he moved a little closer. "Why are you here? This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Castiel was confused. "I don't understand. Do you know where we are?"

The woman regarded him as if trying to decide if he was really there or some sort of illusion. "Don't pretend you don't know what you did, Castiel," she scoffed. "You killed Raphael, and you got me stranded in this world."

The name Raphael sounded familiar. Castiel squinted, looking the woman over. "Apparently I got myself stranded here as well," he pointed out. "What's your name? What are you? Are those wings?"

"What?" The woman looked behind her, stretching her wings out in response. They were magnificent. Or at least he could tell they could have been. Beautiful cream colored feathers with deep marigold yellow tips fell out of the wings. They were broken, bent, scraggly, and she winced, unable to spread them to their full height.

"You mean you really don't know?" She looked him over, daring to scoot closer. She glanced behind him, and he shrugged. 

"I don't have wings," he pointed out.

"Yes you do," she insisted, narrowing her eyes in disbelief. "You can't see them?" He shook his head, and she sat up on her knees, moving over to reach behind him. He felt a surge of pain and winced when she made a grab for his back. 

Then, as if by magic, he noticed them. The ebony black wings were jutting out from behind him, but they were just as sickly and hurt. How did he not see them before? Had they been here this whole time? He couldn't be sure. He looked at this woman; his eyes met hers.

"My name is Hannah," the woman informed him. "You are an angel, Castiel. As am I…"

***

Half a world away, Kili was innocent to the horrors of the world around him. He'd never met or even heard of an angel, nor had he ever seen the ocean. At that moment, Kili had few cares in his young life. That is except for taking advantage of the last few weeks of summer to enjoy the lake with his big brother.

The Blue Mountains were in the grip of the last heatwave of the summer and the breeze off the lake was a pleasant reprieve after a long day of chores.

The lake was looking very tempting. "It's so hot…" he complained as he lay sprawled out in the grass, "I think you might be able to cook an egg on my head!"

"Summer is nearly over," Fili assured him, as he sat propped up against the tree and took a puff of his pipe. "And then you will wish for the heat to return."

Kili wasn't concerned about winter at the moment. All he cared about was how miserable he felt. He wasn't the type of Dwarf that was particularly concerned about the future. Unless the future included food, of course.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He sat up, causing Fili to glance at him in curiosity, as he pulled off his tunic and his shoes and made a b-line for the water.

"You'll get your trousers wet," Fili pointed out in caution as Kili began to wade into the lake.

"They'll dry," Kili responded. The water was cool and inviting. Kili waded in further into the lake and let himself sink down into the water. He felt instantly refreshed as he swam under the water; the world melted away as the quietness of being under the water made him feel calm.

As Kili was coming up for a breath, he heard a large splash and felt the water ripple around him. 

He smiled as he resurfaced to find Fili treading water beside him, his own tunic and shoes discarded on the lakeshore.

For the two young Dwarf princes, in the prime of adolescence, life was peaceful and pleasant. All they had to concern themselves with was getting their chores done correctly, paying attention to Balin's school lessons, and training with Dwalin. 

Of course, Kili and his brother knew that their uncle had worked hard to give them this peaceful life. They knew the story of Erebor and the gold that lay in a dragon's clutches under a mountain. But that world seemed far away and existed only in the memories and stories they had grown up on. Here, they were content and carefree.

"Fili, Kili!" came Dis's call. The two of them had swum in the lake for hours and night was beginning to descend. Lights came on in the windows of the log cabins of the small village and the smell of supper cooking permeated the air. Their mother's call was the dinner bell for them, and Kili followed his brother to shore, picking up his tunic and shoes as they made their way through the houses and shops that made up this tiny Dwarf village in the mountains.

Their house was at the end of the short road, facing the forest. The young princes burst into the house casually, causing Thorin to look up from his seat at the table and Dis to turn as she tended the oven.

"By Durin's beard!" Dis exclaimed, furrowing her brow in slight agitation at her son's appearance. Water dripped from their soaked trousers and gathered on the floor, as they stood there barefoot and bare-chested, holding their boots and tunics in their arms.

"It was hot, so we took a dip," Fili said as Kili just grinned sheepishly, "We didn't see any harm in it."

"Go change into dry clothes right this instant!" Dis scolded, "And hurry before your supper gets cold."

Their mother's tone was enough to make the boys rush to their room in a hurry. They returned, dressed within minutes, their hair still dark and wet as they slipped into seats at the table beside Thorin.

Kili's eyes lit up as Dis dropped a freshly cooked whole trout onto his place. His mouth watered in anticipation as he waited for everyone to be served and for Dis to join them at the table.

"Bofur and Bombur caught these in the river earlier," Dis explained as Thorin put the pipe he had been smoking down, "I told them Fili and Kili would clean out Bombur's barn and butcher shop in return."

"Ah!" Kili protested, even as he shoved fish into his mouth, "Mum!"

"Good idea," Thorin said, ignoring his youngest nephew's protests, "A little hard work never hurt anyone. In fact, I have been thinking it's about time you two learned a trade. You aren't dwarflings anymore."

That wasn't how Kili had intended to spend his summer. He had planned to spend his summer exploring the forest or swimming in the lake with his brother- just as he had every summer that he could remember.

Kili was dismayed as he glanced over at Fili and found his brother nodding in acceptance. Of course, Fili was always the responsible one.

"Yes, Uncle," Fili said simply. Kili huffed and scowled as he continued his meal. Maybe his uncle was right. He wasn't a Dwarfling after all. He was approaching the age of 70 years, he'd be an old man if he were human, but in dwarf years, he'd be about 15 or 16. His brother, five years older, was quickly approaching what dwarves considered to be adulthood.

"Well, what would you have them do?" Dis asked as she ate, "help you in the forge?"

"For now," Thorin confirmed, "But eventually, I'd like to teach them their own crafts."

"Like what?" Fili asked. Thorin shrugged,

"Making weapons and armor out of iron and steel is not all that dwarves are skilled at, and it is not my only craft," Thorin said, "If you could see the splendor that was Erebor… an entire empire carved out of rock and stone…"

  
  


"Rocks and stones," Kili repeated, sounding bored. "I like wood." And he did. Kili was one of the few dwarves who was skilled in archery. Though Thorin had had his bow made for him, Kili had learned to make his own arrows.

"Then I will show you the art of carpentry and woodworking," Thorin said, "And how about stone works for you, Fili? The men in the city would benefit greatly by having more dwarf craftsmen in their midst."

"Alright, Uncle," Fili agreed, "I think I'd like that."

"Good," Thorin said, "I'll see you both in my workshop tomorrow after your training lesson."

Kili found he was looking forward to learning from Thorin. He idolized his uncle after all. The great king who had fought many battles and even went up against a dragon! He only hoped that this new job wouldn't cut too much into his lake time.

Their plates finished, Fili and Kili retreated to their room, leaving Thorin and Dis to clean up the dishes. The sounds of the night filled the air as Fili opened the window while Kili relaxed on his bed and pulled out his pipe. Crickets chirped, owls hooted, flies buzzed.

Fili stepped over the pile of wet trousers and tunics laying in the middle of the floor as he crossed the room to lay down on his own bed and picked up his pipe.

"It shouldn't be so bad, getting a job and learning a trade," Fili mused as Kili puffed out a ring of smoke and stared out at the stars in the window, "Maybe we could be as skilled as Uncle someday."

"I suppose so," Kili agreed, yawning as he lay there feeling content and relaxed with a belly full of fish. The two of them talked for hours that night. Dreaming of the future and what it had in store for them…

Kili was fast asleep when screams of horror pierced the still night sky...


	2. Chapter 2

Fili woke to the screams and shouts outside his room. He sat up in bed and looked across the room to Kili who was sitting up in bed and trying to look out the window.

Moments later, their bedroom door burst open and Thorin hurried in. Fili squinted at him in the dark, but he seemed to be wearing his armor.

"Get up, both of you," Thorin said, urgently, rushing in and pulling his nephews out of their beds, "Hurry. Kili! get away from the window!"

Kili started to do as he was told, rubbing his eyes as he slowly slipped off the bed. Not quick enough for Thorin's liking, he darted forth and grabbed Kili by the arm and yanked him away from the window, harshly.

"Uncle!" Kili protested, but his cry was cut short when something large crashed through the window, landing on the bed he was laying in only seconds ago.

Fili glanced over and saw an arrow sticking into Kili's bed and gulped. That was nearly his little brother.

"What's happening!" Fili exclaimed as he hurried over to Thorin.

"Orcs," Thorin said grimly. Fili's heart pounded. He'd never seen an orc before though he knew from his uncle's stories that they were very dangerous. All his training with Dwalin had been to defend himself from orcs and wargs.

"Enough talk," Thorin said, pulling his nephews along to the hall closet, "Here," he handed them their armor and their weapons. Fili slipped into his suit of maille and leather and started shoving knives and axes into various compartments all over his clothes, before grabbing his double scabbard.

Dis came over to them then, "Where on this earth could they have come from?" she exclaimed, fear in her voice.

"They probably came down from the Misty Mountains," Thorin said as he handed Kili his bow and his sword. Fili was surprised to see even his mother in armor and carrying a blade.

"I don't intend to sit here and wait to be flayed like some human maiden," Dis said when she saw her son's watching her, "I may not be as skillfully trained as Dwalin, but I can handle a sword."

Fili didn't answer any further. He didn't have to. The orcs suddenly burst through the doors like a wave and ran right for them. Kili was quick to equip his bow and let loose an arrow into the first orc's face. A second orc swiped at Thorin, who blocked and parried with his own sword.

Fili tried to defend Kili and was soon inundated with three orcs of his own. This was what all his practice had been for, now was the time to show what he'd learned. He held his own, as did his brother, the two of them were an unstoppable machine of steel as they chopped down one orc after the other.

Fili saw Thorin and Dis fighting nearby, each handling their own. Piles of dead orcs fell around them.

And then one of the orcs knocked over a torch from the ceiling. Within seconds, the room erupted into flames. And they kept coming. Fili was beginning to feel tired as he sliced through another orc. Beads of sweat poured down his face as he fought for his life.

Fili came in for another volley, lifting his swords high to come down on his attackers, and as he brought his left sword down onto an orc's skull, he felt a sudden slice of fire across his right side. Looking down, his eyes widened as he saw an orc blade embedded in his skin.

Fueled on by adrenaline, Fili ignored the pain and pulled the blade out of his own body, throwing it back at the orc, watching with a bit of satisfaction as it got lodged into its throat.

"Fili!" Kili called, trying to fight his way to him. Kili coughed as smoke bellowed down on him. The entire house was engulfed in flames, and it was hard to make his brother out. Fili coughed, too, and his eyes stung. He reached for his brother and pulled him over to him.

"Where's Mum! Uncle!" Kili coughed as they both fought through the orcs and flames. Fili squinted through the smoke as he slashed another orc. He thought he could make Thorin out across the room. But then, as he turned, Fili gasped as he saw an arrow fly across the room and embed into Dis's stomach.

"No!" Kili tried, and Thorin roared in anger as he beheaded the orc archer in one fell swoop before catching his sister before she hit the ground.

"Fili!" Thorin called as he held Dis in his arms, swiping at any orcs who came near, "Kili!" Fili and Kili fought their way to his side.

"Take your mother and head for the forest," he instructed and immediately, Fili was shaking his head, tears streaming down his face.

Dis looked up at them and reached for them, and Kili helped her to her feet. She leaned heavily against him; the arrow still deeply embedded inside her body. Blood stained her dress, and she was very pale.

"What about you?" Fili asked, turning back to Thorin.

"I have to help defend the village," Thorin told him, "Seek protection in the forest… I'll find you there when I can."

Fili opened his mouth to protest. He was scared, terrified. But he couldn't get any words out, just coughing, as smoke filled his lungs. He felt Thorin's strong arms grab him and steer him towards the opened door. Kili limped behind him as he helped Dis along.

Finally, the four of them were outside. And everything was chaos. Dwarves and orcs fought on rooftops, in the streets, and everywhere fire blazed around them. Screams of pain and horror filled the air as well as the sounds of battle and destruction.

"Go," Thorin said firmly, shoving Fili towards the tree line of the forest.

"Uncle…" Kili cried. But an agonized moan from Dis straightened him up. Reluctantly, he followed his brother into the forest. The last Fili saw of Thorin; he was rushing towards the terrible scene, sword raised high above him.

"Come on Kili," Fili said, falling back to help Kili carry Dis. The two of them walked deep into the forest, and the sounds of battle began to fade away.

The sun began to rise and heat the world below, and it promised to be another heat filled day as the temperatures rose even at this early light.

"Fee…" Dis breathed, so faintly Fili almost didn't hear her.

"Put her down, Kili, we can rest here," Fili said as they helped lay Dis down under a tree.

Fili blanched as he saw the arrow, at least four inches in, "Watch for orcs," he instructed Kili as he tore off a piece of cloth from his tunic to try to staunch the bleeding. He had forgotten entirely about his own wound and frowned when he noticed his tunic was stained red already.

"No…" Dis breathed, weakly pushing Fili's hand away, "It's not far enough away… you have to get farther away from the village. They'll find you here."

"We have to treat your wound first, Mother," Fili explained, putting the cloth around her wound.

"No… no time…" Dis said, she coughed, and blood stained her teeth. Just then, just as Dis had said, something crashed through the brush towards them. Kili held his sword ready, and Fili looked up in alarm as he continued to try to stop the wound from bleeding, despite his mother's pleas to keep going.

"Kili, it's us!" came a familiar voice. Out of the brush came Gimli and Ori. Fili frowned when he saw their condition. His cousins were both covered in bruises, and Ori's arm dangled uselessly to the side.

"What happened?" Kili asked, standing down from his attack stance, "Did you see anyone else? My uncle?"

"He was fighting the orcs," Gimli said, "With everyone else. We were being chased, but the orcs can't be far behind!"

Fili gulped when he heard that. The orcs were right behind them. Glancing down to his mother, who had grown pale and listless, he tried hard not to panic.

"Come on, help me with my mother," He instructed, and Kili hurried over to Dis's other side to help try to lift her to her feet.

Dis cried out in pain and pushed them both away, "No!" she exclaimed.

"Mother, we have to go!" Fili told her, his voice high with fear.

"Leave me here," She told him, "I'm not going to make it, Lad…"

"Yes, you are!" Kili insisted, trying to pull her up.

"Please, you must leave," Dis said, her eyes full of tears as she pleaded with them, "Do what I tell you."

"She isn't making any sense…" Kili mused aloud, "She's delirious, Fili…"

"No…" Fili realized the truth as Dis went limp in their arms.

"Go on…" she whispered, "go to the forest and wait for your uncle…" and then with her last breath, she whispered, "I love you both…"

Kili began to weep softly as Dis died, and Fili could only sit there and stare. Ori and Gimli looked on sadly.

But their grief was cut short by a loud screech. Fili looked up as one orc nearly caught Kili by surprise with a blade. Fili quickly pulled out his knife and lunged it at the orc, hitting it square in the face.

And now he was filled with anger as a small group of orcs descended upon them. He left his mother's body and jumped at the orcs, swords swinging. He beheaded two right away, and he felt Kili, Ori, and Gimli all fighting beside him. Within seconds, the forest floor was littered with dispatched orc bodies.

As his anger subsided, Fili gasped. He had to handle this, he realized. More orcs would come.

"Come on, Kili," he said, "We have to go."

"But Uncle…" Kili said, his face red and wet with emotion.

But Kili obeyed, and the four of them hurried off into the forest. They walked and walked, deeper and deeper into the forest. They had no idea which direction they were heading, only that they were going further and further from their home, everything they had ever known. Fili hoped with everything he had in him that Thorin would eventually find them, but he couldn't think about that right now.

Fili winced as the wound in his side finally began to make itself known. He'd have to take a look at it, but not until he was sure they'd be safe. Suddenly, the world seemed a whole lot darker and bleaker to Fili. Just yesterday, they had enjoyed their youth and their innocence as they had always done. Fili had always known he was the oldest and Thorin's heir. He had always known there might be responsibilities to go along with that title. But those responsibilities seemed so far away. Thorin would always be there to protect him, after all… until today. Now it was up to him to protect the others.

The four young dwarves walked along… their world changed forever…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be some sexual assault in the following chapters. I've tagged it as attempted assault for now because I haven't decided how dark I want to go. If I decide to go there, I will change the tag but for now, I just wanted to warn you of the possibility.

The sun bore down on Castiel’s bare back as he moved around on his hands and knees, scrubbing the wooden floor plates of the creaky old vessel with an old rag and a pail of water. Beads of sweat clouded his eyes as he blinked, trying to concentrate. 

As the days had gone by on the vessel, Castiel had quickly become accustomed to the brutal life he’d found himself in. Beside him, Hannah scrubbed just as hard, her dark hair pulled back, and a beige hair cloth was adorning her head. She wore a plain brown dress and an apron that was already dirty from the morning’s chores.

Castiel’s memories had still not returned, and he relied on Hannah for any information, but she was not forthcoming. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” she kept saying. Castiel couldn’t shake the terrible wave of guilt he felt with that response. He didn’t know what had happened to her, but somehow, he got the feeling that it was his fault. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t the only one he had hurt. 

For now, Hannah was Castiel’s only companion on this ship. And she was one of his kind. He’d learned a little more about being an angel. About how he had once had powers but something, which Hannah had called grace, was being suppressed in this world. Neither one of them could fly, Hannah had confirmed that she wouldn’t have been at these human’s mercy if they were able to fly, or if they had powers. She explained that they both could flatten this vessel to dust if they chose to. 

“These humans are insufferable,” Hannah muttered bitterly as she crouched on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. Her hair was matted with sweat as well; the heat of the day was harsh for both of them. “Greedy, cruel… Mistress Biata is the worst.” Castiel frowned. Mistress Biata was the wife of the quartermaster, and she controlled the women on the vessel. And including her and Hannah, there were only three. The loud, crass ship’s cook, Razette did little to offend Biata, so Hannah was her favorite target.

As Hannah went on about Biata, the loud sound of chatter had them both looking up as Laars and Dampinier strode onto the deck. The rowdy, usually drunk helmsman and boatswain, spotted the angels immediately and headed over.

“Hey Hannah, we’re having a party tonight, how about you showing off that pretty figure of yours, it would really make the mood,” Laars suggested as Dampinier chuckled. Castiel felt a hot wave of anger flood through him as he sat up and put his rag in his pail. He glanced at Hannah as she sat up to face them.

“You have a party every night,” she pointed out. “And you drink so much I don’t see how you’d even be aware of my presence.”

Castiel couldn’t help but smirk. Hannah hadn’t been part of the crew for very long, but it was long enough that she had grown used to these kinds of confrontations. She was the only young woman on the vessel, and Laas and Dampinier enjoyed harassing her.

Laars responded by putting a hand on her chin and roughly forcing her to gaze up at him. She didn’t flinch, allowing the movement though she tensed beside him. “Maybe tonight I’ll show you what a real party can be like,” he said, the tone of suggestion in his voice. With that, he gripped her chin tight and pulled her up, causing a grunt of discomfort.

Castiel moved to stand up. “Don’t-” he protested, but before he could say anything, Laars planted a kiss to Hannah’s cheek, and she responded by squirming, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Such soft skin,” Laars commented before releasing her and turning his attention to Castiel. The angel barely had time to prepare himself before Dampinier grabbed his head and shoved him hard onto the wooden deck, and Laars kicked him hard in the side. 

“Who knows,” Dampinier said to Laars, “Maybe we’ll show him a good time too.”

Pain welled up in his side as Castiel grunted. Dampinier and Laars kicked him a few more times for good measure before they turned and sauntered back the way they came, making it a point to wink suggestively at Hannah before disappearing around the corner.

When they were gone, Hannah turned to Castiel and helped him sit up. “Are you alright?” she wanted to know. She searched his face with concern and sympathy etched in her large cerulean eyes.

“Yeah,” Castiel stammered, holding his side. The kicks hadn’t broken the skin, but he could already feel the bruises forming. “Hannah, I really think we should try to get off this ship. The way they act around you…”

“Seems you’ve caught their attention too,” Hannah pointed out. “And… I’m used to it. They can get really loud when they are drunk, but fortunately, they are usually too drunk to be a big threat.”

A concerned look in Hannah’s eyes told Castiel she was worried and wasn’t too sure of their security around Laars and Dampinier. Castiel suspected she had had more than one run-in with them, and he could only hope that none of those encounters went too far.

“Hannah!” Biata’s sharp voice had them both whirling as the short, red-haired woman strode over to them, her hands on her hips.

Hannah immediately tensed. While it didn’t seem that Dampinier and Laars intimidated her, Biata did. She quickly turned her gaze to the floor. “Mistress,” she greeted softly.

“I expect you’ll be in attendance tonight,” Biata informed her. “And you’ll entertain everyone who wishes it. And you’ll tolerate all of it, is that understood?”

Hannah swallowed, shuttering slightly. “Y-yes mistress,” she agreed. Castiel felt sick inside. Biata was forcing Hannah to offer herself to the lewd harassment promised by the two men. Castiel suddenly felt the need to get them both off this ship. He didn’t know where they’d go, but as he glanced out at the ocean around them, he wondered how far they were from shore. 

“Castiel,” Hannah’s voice beside him brought him back to her as Biata left. She observed him. 

“We need to leave,” he told her. “We don’t need to eat or drink; we could survive out on the open ocean for as long as it takes if we need to.”

“Where would we go?” she asked. It was a genuine question. Neither of them knew anything about this world, all they’d known was this boat. They had no idea what might be waiting for them beyond it. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. But he felt determined. He didn’t know what sort of abuse Hannah had endured before he had arrived, but he didn’t like the look in her eyes, and he certainly didn’t revel in the idea of being abused by them as well. 

“Castiel…” Hannah began, lowering her eyes again. Her tone was serious, and she seemed to be contemplating what words to say. “I’m sorry.”

Castiel squinted, cocking his head with confusion. “Sorry for what?” he asked softly. 

“About… what you don’t remember. It’s hard for me to remember. And… what you did… I wanted to hate you. But I can’t.” 

“I don’t know what I did,” Castiel responded. He sighed and stood up on his feet and reached out a hand to her. She cautiously took it and stood up. The two of them put their pails away and then descended the decks to their cargo bay, where they spent most of their time on the ship.

Castiel sat beside Hannah once they were alone. He turned to her, taking a breath. “I don’t know what I did,” he repeated. “All I know is… whatever it was, it was bad, and maybe you have a right to hate me.”

“No,” Hannah took a breath, “I… I’m going to tell you.” She sat back, facing forward as she seemed to prepare herself for the tale. “There was a war. A war in heaven…”

As the hours passed, Castiel felt sick as Hannah began to reveal everything. She had been a commander in Raphael’s army. And Castiel had been a rebel. He’d disobeyed, and he led many angels against Raphael. He and Hannah had been on opposite sides, and when Castiel had absorbed the souls of the leviathans, he’d become more powerful than a god. He lay waste to Raphael’s armies, and Hannah was one of the very few who had managed to survive the onslaught. But the power that Castiel unleashed had blasted her into this world where she had found herself alone, powerless, and at the mercy of these strange people in this strange land.

When the tale was over, Castiel couldn’t speak. The guilt he felt was more than he could bear. And with her story, memory began to seep back into him. He began to remember everything. The war, the devastation, and… “Sam and Dean…” he mumbled softly as he thought of the friends he’d betrayed. He could only hope that they were safe. At least they were far away from him.

Castiel felt physically pained by the weight of the guilt pressing down on him. He lay down on the cold floor, covering his face with his hands. “I deserve to die…” he uttered. “Why didn’t I die?”

“Because you aren’t meant to,” Hannah said softly. Castiel kept his hands over his eyes, but he felt her weight shift beside him as she lay down next to him. “I was angry,” she said. “I was hurt. I thought I had lost everything. And I blamed you. But… maybe we were brought together so we can heal heaven together.”

Castiel slowly slid his hands away from his face and gazed up at Hannah’s face as she peered down into his. “I’m… I’m no leader,” he began. “I thought I was doing the right thing, and it led to this… I don’t know if I could ever set foot in heaven again. If I did, I might want to kill myself.”

“Killing yourself won’t bring back the angels you destroyed,” Hannah pointed out. “And in the wake of everything that’s happened, heaven needs angels like you.”

“I don’t know how I can possibly atone for what I’ve done,” Castiel replied, focusing on her face. “But… I’d be willing to try if you are with me.”

“I’m just a soldier,” Hannah replied, glancing away as Castiel sat up to face her. “I’m not like you, Castiel. This… free will. It isn’t for me.”

“It can be,” Castiel urged. “That’s all I was trying to show them… that they could make their own choices. It all went so wrong, and I wish I could take it all back. But you… you aren’t like the others, Hannah. I’ve seen it. You have something most angels don’t. Passion.”

“How will passion help?” Hannah faced him, the two locking eyes. The two stayed like that for a time, and Castiel swallowed, feeling the electricity between them.

“It makes you more determined to fight for your beliefs,” Castiel explained. “And to fight for people, you care about. If you escape with me, I’ll show you.”

Hannah thought about that. He watched her as pensiveness crossed her eyes. “I don’t know where we are, we could be in the middle of the ocean,” she began. “But tonight while they are all drunk, we might have a chance.”

Castiel nodded as he took her hand. He still couldn’t forgive himself so easily. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to. But if he could help one angel get herself out of the mess he’d put her in, he had to try. Everything that Hannah had endured on this boat and in this world was his fault. She was here because of him. And if those men hurt her, that would be his fault too. He was determined not to let that happen.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

They walked the entire day until they couldn't walk anymore. Fili wasn't sure where they were; he had never been this far away from the village. But he led them on. He hoped they would run into some sign of civilization soon.

Sometime near dusk, Fili could swear that he heard the sounds of rushing water somewhere close by. A river or a stream. The day had brought misery in this relentless heatwave, and Fili's wound ached terribly. Finally, some hope for some direction.

"Are you alright, Brother?" Kili asked as they arrived in a small clearing. Fili tried to suppress a wince and smiled reassuringly at Kili.

"Yes," he said. In truth, the wound hadn't been that deep and had stopped bleeding long ago, but the dull ache that resonated from the wound was slowly growing more painful. Fili knew that infection was a possibility, but with no supplies, there was not much he could do about it. Besides, he was the leader of this group now; he couldn't afford to be weak and falter because of a small wound. There were more pressing matters to attend to.

Kili didn't look convinced but didn't press the issue. He didn't feel much like talking anyway. They were all still shell shocked over the events that led them into this situation. There had been no further signs of orcs, but no signs of dwarves either. Fili hoped that Thorin had survived, but that hope began to dim.

"We will camp here," Fili said firmly, turning to look at Ori and Gimli, "Ori, go find that water source, Gimli, you can help me start a fire, and Kili, I'll need you to hunt for something to eat."

"I don't have many arrows left," Kili said, holding his bow, "I used them all on orcs."

"Well then, make sure you don't miss," Fili snapped harshly. Kili gave him a look of surprise but sighed and hurried off to do as he was told. Fili squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment to try to compose himself. He could feel the pressure mounting inside of him. He had to lead them; he had to take care of them. He'd never been in this kind of situation before, but he knew he couldn't fail.

Ori whimpered a bit as his arm dangled painfully to his side. Fili sighed.

"Ori…" Fili said, and the young Dwarf looked at him, "Nevermind, Gimli can go get the water. You stay here and help me with the fire."

"No, I can do it," Ori insisted, "it's just… I don't have anything to carry it back in."

"We should camp on the river itself," Gimli put in as he wandered the small clearing, gathering firewood.

"No, we'll be easier to track down that way," Fili explained. "Animals and orcs could be traveling along the river and see our fire."

Gimli grumbled and put the wood down and hurried off to carry out Fili's instructions. Fili turned to Ori, "Here, let me see your arm, Ori," Fili instructed, coming over.

"No, it's fine," Ori insisted, looking a little scared at the thought, "It's fine."

"No, it isn't," Fili snapped again. He wasn't in the mood for any challenges. He hoped it wasn't too apparent to the others how stressed he felt.

Ori winced and sat down in the grass and allowed Fili to inspect his arm. As Fili kneeled, he felt the stabbing pain in his side again, but bit back a wince and ignored it. Ori's dark eyes gazed at him with concern.

"I'm fine," he assured him, looking over his arm. It was broken, the bone was visible just under Ori's elbow. Ori winced hard as he tried to move it. Fortunately, it hadn't broken through the skin.

It was good that Oin had taught the young Dwarves the basics of wilderness care. Thorin thought it necessary since they spent so much time out in the forest. Today, Fili was grateful that he paid attention to Oin's boring lessons.  _ Set the bone _ , he remembered.  _ Set it and get a splint _ .

"I'm going to have to set it," he said to Ori as he glanced around and picked out some sticks from the pile of firewood. Ori looked frightened at this idea, but Fili ignored him. He felt terrible for the pain he was about to inflict on his friend, but he had no choice.

"Okay," Fili said, taking a breath to compose himself as he grabbed the bones, "Let's just do it and get it over with…" and without further warning, he pulled hard and manipulated the bone back into place.

Ori led out a scream so loud it scared a few robins that were nesting in the tree above them. Fili quickly tore off a piece of his tunic and splinted Ori's arm, making him a makeshift sling.

"Sorry…" Fili said as he worked, "I'll get busy on our fire."

"... too hot for fire…" Ori gasped, "Must we?"

"Well, the temperature will drop once the sun goes down," Fili reasoned, "And besides, we'll need light, and I'm sure whatever Kili catches will need to be cooked."

Ori nodded as Fili went to work, building a spot for the fire. Sweat gathered on his brow as his movements caused agony. He took a few breaths to beat down the waves of pain as he piled the firewood up.

"Kindling," he muttered to himself, "We need something to start the fire with."

"Bombur says you have to rub some sticks together," Ori said, "I could show you how."

"Here," Came Gimli's voice. Fili looked up to see Gimli carrying a large tortoiseshell filled with water.

"The river isn't too far from here," he explained, "I had to find something to carry water back in. I found this shell, seems it's own must have gotten caught by predators."

"Good," Fili said as Gimli set the water down and hurried over to help Fili, "Ori was about to show me how to get the fire going."

"I know how," Gimli said, "You can rest."

Fili wanted to protest. He didn't want to rest; he had to take care of everyone, after all. Kili hadn't come back yet, and Fili was starting to get a little concerned. But his wound made itself known, so he reluctantly sat beside Ori and watched Gimli work.

A few hours passed, and Fili was getting nervous. He fiddled with his hunting knife and watched the trees constantly.

"You don't think the orcs could have gotten him?" Ori pondered, and Fili shot him an angry glance. He was barely containing his feelings of guilt over sending his brother out there alone. He should have gone himself.

"I hope he didn't get lost," Gimli said, "Maybe we should go look for him?"

"I can't risk losing someone else!" Fili retorted, not hiding the anxiety from his voice.

But finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Kili emerged from the trees, holding his jerkin in his arms. Fili ignored the pain and rushed over to him.

"Where were you!" he demanded angrily, "You had me worried sick!"

"Hunting, like you, asked me to," Kili responded, "Only I couldn't find anything. It's too hot; animals are moving on… so I had to travel further."

"I can't lose you too," Fili continued to shout, "Just don't be so foolish next time!" Fili winced as he said those words. He didn't mean to say them, but it was too late. Kili glared at him,

"I was doing what you wanted me to!" He bit out, shoving his jerkin at Fili before stomping past him to get to camp. Fili glanced down to see some walnuts, berries, and grasshoppers contained inside the jerkin.

Fili sighed and closed his eyes tight, trying to soothe his raging emotions. He was losing control, he knew. This was too much, too much for him to handle. He was lashing out at his closest friends because he was scared.

Silently, he brought Kili's catch over to camp. His brother sat quietly, staring at the fire and didn't even look up at him. Gimli and Ori were too uneasy about speaking either. Sighing, Fili poured all the food out onto a flat rock and set it close to the fire to roast.

"We have to eat bugs…" Ori complained, but was silenced by a glare from Fili.

"We have to eat what we can get," he said shortly, "No complaining." He divided the food and gave everyone a share before putting an amount aside for later. They might have to conserve what they found.

It was a quiet dinner. No one said a word. And when it was over, Fili watched his brother get up and go lay down in the grass, his back to everyone.

"Get some sleep," he told Ori and Gimli, "I'll take first watch."

"You should rest," Gimli said, "I can take first watch. I-"

"No," Fili interjected hotly, "I'll do it. I'll wake you up in a few hours. Just get some sleep."

"What is going to happen to us?" Ori asked honestly, as he and Gimli both lay down in the grass, "Where are we going to go now?"

"We don't have anywhere to go," Gimli responded. Fili watched them silently as they eventually drifted off to sleep.

Fili sighed as he glanced in the direction of Kili. Though he appeared asleep, Fili could tell he wasn't. Taking a breath, the golden-haired Dwarf slowly got to his feet and moved to sit beside his brother.

"Kili?" he whispered. Kili ignored him. Fili lay down in the grass beside him and waited, silently. Eventually, Kili turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," Fili said softly, "I was just scared that something had happened to you. I shouldn't have told you to go."

Kili didn't say anything for a long time, just stared at Fili. Fili swallowed hard as he began to think his brother wasn't going to forgive him. A hard lump formed in his throat as he tried to hold back tears.

But then, Kili scooted over and into Fili's arms, and Fili eagerly embraced him. He didn't realize how bad he needed that, and he let his tears flow freely. Kili's body quivered a bit as he wept too. They both lay there silently for a long time, shedding tears for those they had lost and for each other.

"What's going to happen, Fee?" Kili asked softly after a while, "I'm scared."

"I'm scared too," Fili admitted, "But I am going to take care of you, I promise. We'll stick together no matter what. The four of us."

_ I promise _ … He thought to himself, over and over as he held his little brother in his arms. He'd take care of them no matter what.

"I miss Mother…" Kili sniffed, and Fili blinked back more tears, "And Uncle…"

"I know," the golden-haired Dwarf said, "So do I…"

As the night wore on, Fili stared up at the sky, at the stars far above them. Though their situation was dire, he didn't know where they were going, his wound still hurt terribly, and he missed his family very much, he suddenly began to feel much better. Somehow, holding his brother tight, protecting him from the world and its dangers, Fili began to recognize his determination. They'd get through this because Fili would see to it.

… that is until Fili heard the rustling in the bushes. Instantly, he was brought back to reality as he sat up, causing Kili to jump up as well.

"What is it?" Kili asked wearily.

"Something's in the woods," Fili said and then tried to get up. He winced hard as he struggled to his feet- with Kili's help. Kili looked at him with concern, but a stick cracking nearby forced him to focus.

Quickly, the two brothers withdrew their weapons and readied themselves as the thing came out of the forest…

"Thorin!"

  
  
  



End file.
